{"id":8518,"date":"2021-08-25T01:41:35","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T01:41:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/?post_type=resources&#038;p=8518"},"modified":"2025-07-14T21:28:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T21:28:10","slug":"receive-feedback-pt2","status":"publish","type":"resources","link":"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/receive-feedback-pt2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Receive Feedback (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>What should you do when a coworker has feedback about issues of power, lines of difference, or inequity?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>See also, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/how-to-receive-feedback-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Part 1: How to Receive Feedback<\/a> (but trust us\u2014it\u2019s okay if you read these out of order!).<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Imagine this:<\/strong> you\u2019re the field director of a statewide LGBTQ organization and you\u2019ve spent the last two months drafting and refining your team\u2019s goals for the following year. You\u2019ve consulted with your staff and executive director, and you feel like you\u2019ve finally landed in a good place. Two days before your ED plans to bring the goals to the board for approval, a field organizer approaches you and says, \u201cI\u2019m not sure that the goals are achievable.\u201d After you probe a bit, she shares that the goal you\u2019ve set for turning out Latinx people (a community of which you\u2019re not a part) at Lobby Days is tokenizing, and that goes against your organization\u2019s mission and the intention of the work. This is your first time hearing this concern from anyone. In addition to feeling a little surprised, you\u2019re not totally convinced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What do you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether you\u2019re a field director, chief of staff, or school principal\u2014if you\u2019ve ever received challenging feedback from someone you manage, this situation probably feels familiar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Uncovering the iceberg<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"857\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iceberg_color-web-quality-sm-857x1024.jpg\" alt=\"An illustrated iceberg shows five layers. The layer above the water's surface says: Presenting conflict. The layers below the surface, from top to bottom, say: Underlying issue or relational issue, start here. Systemic issue and structural issue. In the bottom left corner, there's diver with the note \u201cGo deeper.\u201d\" class=\"wp-image-13154\" style=\"width:400px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iceberg_color-web-quality-sm-857x1024.jpg 857w, https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iceberg_color-web-quality-sm-251x300.jpg 251w, https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iceberg_color-web-quality-sm-768x918.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iceberg_color-web-quality-sm.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 857px) 100vw, 857px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>At TMC, this is what we\u2019d call a dicey issue.<\/strong> Dicey feedback is often related to diversity, inclusion, equity, belonging, or culture. It\u2019s usually a clue that there\u2019s an &#8220;iceberg,&#8221; where the problem on the surface is attached to a larger, multi-layered, and complex issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dicey feedback is not easy to hear, which is why it\u2019s important to slow down and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/how-to-receive-feedback-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">get in the mindset to engage<\/a> with it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How you engage with the staff member who raised the concern and how you tackle the issue could have significant implications not just for your working relationship, but also your organization\u2019s ability to advance equity and inclusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Using the &#8220;iceberg&#8221; framework can help you listen for the concern beneath the concern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>First, consider the presenting issue or what you think it is. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Then, consider layers below the surface: any underlying issue related to your work or relational issues\u2014where trust between you and the other person might be built or broken. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>From there, pause to consider (or pose questions about) the systemic or structural issues at play.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>For the scenario described above, let\u2019s take a look at the layers of the iceberg:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-stripes\"><table><thead><tr><th>Layer<\/th><th>What&#8217;s Happening<\/th><\/tr><\/thead><tbody><tr><td>Presenting conflict<\/td><td>Field organizer doesn\u2019t believe that the goals are achievable.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Underlying issue<\/td><td>She sees one of the goals as tokenizing to her community, which goes against the intention of the work. She\u2019s also worried about risking her relationships with community members who might feel tokenized.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Relational<\/td><td>She\u2019s hoping that you\u2019ll trust her to engage with her on this.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Structural<\/td><td>In this organization, field organizers are the lowest paid, the least supported administratively, are rarely asked for input on big decisions, and experience the highest turnover.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Systemic<\/td><td>There\u2019s a broad progressive movement pattern of BIPOC field organizers being the least likely to advance into leadership positions within campaigns.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It can be tempting to focus on resolving the presenting conflict. But focusing on the presenting conflict without at least digging for underlying and relational issues puts you at great risk of missing what\u2019s really going on. This can cause long-term damage to your relationship <em>and<\/em> your results. Even if there is no iceberg, digging for it won\u2019t cause damage\u2014if anything, it communicates that you\u2019re open to feedback and multiple perspectives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Below are some questions you can ask yourself (to reflect on what other factors might be at play) and them (to dig deeper and get under all the layers):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><thead><tr><th>Questions to ask yourself<\/th><th>Questions to ask them<\/th><\/tr><\/thead><tbody><tr><td><ul><li>To your knowledge, has this issue come up before (either with this person or another staff member)?<\/li><li>Is this input about diversity, equity, inclusion, culture, or belonging? <\/li><li>What could be at stake for the person sharing this feedback with me? Given that there is risk when people with less power share feedback, how might that risk be showing up for this person?<\/li><li>What are the lines of difference, privilege, and\/or power between us?<\/li><li>What values do they hold? What values do I hold? What values do we share?<\/li><\/ul><\/td><td><ul><li>What else should I know about this feedback?<\/li><li>Is this connected to any patterns that you have noticed?<\/li><li>What other context am I missing?<\/li><li>If we were to move on as planned, what would be at stake? What do you think the impact would be on you, our team, or our work and results?<\/li><\/ul><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Listen, Engage, Learn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As managers relating to our staff, we\u2019re more likely to give feedback than to receive it. It\u2019s often not an expectation or norm for staff to give feedback to their managers and giving (critical) feedback is trickier and riskier when there\u2019s positional power involved. On top of that, if the feedback is on a dicey issue, it can be especially stressful for your staff to share it, which means you may not get that feedback until it\u2019s too late (if ever).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To make it easier for staff to share feedback and resolve issues sooner, demonstrate that you\u2019re open and able to receive feedback, especially across lines of difference and power. Treat the ability to do so as a core competency for managers (and ideally for all staff when you are looking to build a strong feedback culture).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Listen effectively<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To dig below the surface, resist the urge to defend your ideas, persuade the other person, or problem-solve. Take the time to understand what\u2019s really going on by doing the following first:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Press pause.<\/strong> Slowing down helps us listen better. Get yourself into an open mindset by reminding yourself that there\u2019s no need to judge, decide, solve, or refute. Assess how you\u2019re feeling. Defensiveness, anger, and resentment are all valid feelings that can get in the way of listening. Take a breath and, before saying anything else, thank them for bringing it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Ask questions.<\/strong> Probe to see more of the iceberg, not to validate or test any assumptions that you might have. Try these questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Is there more to this feedback?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Is this connected to any patterns that you have noticed?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Is there any context you think I might be missing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If we were to move on as planned, what do you think would be at stake? What do you think the impact would be?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Repeat-back (not refute-back!).<\/strong> Check that you\u2019re fully understanding what\u2019s going on for them, and give them a chance to correct any misunderstandings. Highlight any areas of agreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Engage in the feedback<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you\u2019re on the same page about the content of the input, engage with it as a problem to solve as a team. Note: This part doesn\u2019t have to happen immediately after you\u2019ve received the feedback. It is okay\u2014and sometimes even better\u2014to take some time to process and follow up after you\u2019ve listened, asked questions, and done your repeat-back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Tie together.<\/strong> Share what you\u2019re thinking and feeling. This is your chance to bring your staff in as a collaborator, especially if you are facing pressures or have context that they might not know about. Then, tie together what\u2019s true for both of you, understanding that your experiences do not have to be mutually exclusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s some sample language you can use&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><thead><tr><th>\u2026to transparently share.<\/th><th>\u2026to tie together<\/th><\/tr><\/thead><tbody><tr><td><ul><li>The truth is, I feel like I can\u2019t\/must do X because\u2026<\/li><li>I\u2019m feeling nervous\/stressed\/cautious about\u2026<\/li><li>I\u2019m feeling a lot of pressure around X because&#8230;<\/li><\/ul><\/td><td><ul><li>I think where we\u2019re totally aligned is&#8230;<\/li><li>I love what you said about X and I completely agree.<\/li><li>I think we both want X, and we need to figure how to get there.<\/li><\/ul><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. New paths are possible.<\/strong> Think of ways to move forward that go beyond either\/or (100% your way or their way). Seek out a third (or fourth, or fifth\u2026) path or, if you can\u2019t take a new course, look for mitigations to address the issues that are being raised. For instance, you could say, &#8220;While I can&#8217;t change the grant proposal the board already approved, I agree that we need to adjust our deliverables. How about we look for ways to trim 25% of the demands that are disproportionately impacting our admin team.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Learn with and through an equity and inclusion lens<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You can\u2019t solve an iceberg issue in a single conversation, but you can use that conversation to get better at spotting and addressing similar issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Examine how it went.<\/strong> Once decisions have been made, get meta: debrief the conversation itself to assess how you handled their input at your next check-in. In the debrief, you can simply ask for a plus\/delta. Remember that this conversation is about learning from the interaction to make it easier for them to bring you feedback in the future; it\u2019s not about debriefing the decision itself (though you may want to do that at another point).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Remember the iceberg!<\/strong> Let this interaction open your eyes to other potential issues as you move forward. More importantly, make space to check in on how things are going and seek opportunities to continue the conversation <em>before<\/em> issues arise (see the \u201cAsk for it\u201d section of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/how-to-receive-feedback-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Part 1<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember our scenario in which you\u2019re the field director and your field organizer shares some tough feedback? To see how these steps would play out in the scenario, check out our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/partner-example\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">case study on receiving feedback<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Receiving feedback about power, difference, and inequity can be challenging. Learn how you can make it easier for staff to share feedback with you, and resolve issues sooner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":10397,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"resource_types":[48],"topic":[35,41],"collection":[27],"class_list":["post-8518","resources","type-resources","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","resource_types-article-publication","topic-equity-and-inclusion","topic-investing-in-people","collection-feedback"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Receive Feedback (Part 2) - The Management Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/receive-feedback-pt2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Receive Feedback (Part 2) - The Management Center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Receiving feedback about power, difference, and inequity can be challenging. 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