{"id":13230,"date":"2024-09-30T17:44:21","date_gmt":"2024-09-30T17:44:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/?post_type=resources&#038;p=13230"},"modified":"2025-07-14T21:28:11","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T21:28:11","slug":"two-truths-and-a-lie-about-feedback","status":"publish","type":"resources","link":"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/two-truths-and-a-lie-about-feedback\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Truths and a Lie About Feedback"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When we say feedback is a gift, we really mean it. Feedback can help us see strengths we didn\u2019t know we had, overcome self-doubt, course correct, and tap into new aspirations. In fact, studies show people <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/357764\/fast-feedback-fuels-performance.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">prefer to receive meaningful feedback\u2014whether positive or corrective\u2014versus no feedback at all.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yet, we hear from managers again and again:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cMy org has a weak culture of feedback. How will people react if I initiate this?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m worried about damaging relationships.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m uncomfortable giving feedback.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If this sounds familiar, we understand. Giving quality feedback takes practice and\u2014let\u2019s be honest\u2014making peace with some things we can\u2019t control, like how our feedback will land or where your organization is at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is a way forward. First, let\u2019s mythbust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Lie: Offering feedback will damage our relationship.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving (and receiving) feedback is an essential skill for managers. The question isn\u2019t whether you do it, it\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2023\/06\/how-to-give-and-receive-critical-feedback\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>how<\/em> you do it<\/a>. Feedback is an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/four-elements-strong-relationships-managers-guide-relationship-building\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">investment in your relationship<\/a> when you offer it with care, consistency, and curiosity. When you give someone feedback, you\u2019re saying, \u201cI believe you can grow.\u201d Avoiding feedback\u2014especially when it\u2019s related to performance\u2014is more damaging in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can use feedback to strengthen your relationships by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Being clear that you care about the other person.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Focusing on outcomes or impacts, not the person\u2019s character.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Connecting and making time for questions (use our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/give-more-and-better-feedback-with-csaw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">CSAW framework<\/a> as a guide).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Acknowledging any context that contributed to challenges, which includes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/four-steps-addressing-performance-problems\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">owning your end of things<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Making it a regular part of check-ins (and inviting staff feedback).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Truth: You can make feedback a priority, even when no one else does.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If feedback isn&#8217;t a feature of your organizational culture (yet!), you can still make it a feature of your relationships. As a manager, you can model quality feedback that is <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/five-tips-for-giving-better-feedback\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">generative and grounded in care<\/a> for people. You can also be authentic and honest as a co-learner with your team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>You might say<\/em>, &#8220;I know we don&#8217;t have a strong culture of feedback yet, which can make it hard for us to be honest with each other about doing things differently. But, I want us to have a relationship where we can both learn and grow together. That means being clear and direct about what&#8217;s working and what&#8217;s not. What do you think of this? Is this something we can do together?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Truth: Feedback <em>can be<\/em> uncomfortable, so dig into why.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>While any feedback you share should focus on the work (not the personal), how we <em>feel<\/em> about feedback is always connected to our lived experiences, culture, identities, and communication styles. Meet any discomfort you have with curiosity. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself\u2014and your staff:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>How does your upbringing, communication style, and past experience with feedback shape how you give and receive it?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What norms around feedback do we default to at [organization name]? Where does your style and experience fit within that?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>TMC is here to help you build a feedback culture (even if it\u2019s just within your team) and strengthen relationships in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re looking for more ways to learn and practice feedback, check out the Related Resources below, or attend a training! <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/schedule\/cat-25-foundations-for-managers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Managing to Change the World<\/em><\/a> can help you build strong relationships through check-ins, feedback, and effective delegation, and then <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/catalog\/129-giving-feedback\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Giving Feedback<\/em><\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/catalog\/139-investing-in-people-and-performance\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Investing in People and Performance<\/em><\/a> both help you dive deeper.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hesitant about giving feedback to staff or coworkers? We address common misconceptions so you can build a feedback culture and strengthen relationships in the process.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":10397,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"resource_types":[48],"topic":[41,42],"collection":[27],"class_list":["post-13230","resources","type-resources","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","resource_types-article-publication","topic-investing-in-people","topic-performance-problems","collection-feedback"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Two Truths and a Lie About Feedback - The Management Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.managementcenter.org\/resources\/two-truths-and-a-lie-about-feedback\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Two Truths and a Lie About Feedback - The Management Center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hesitant about giving feedback to staff or coworkers? 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